Why does life have to be so hard, obviously it's not that hard, I'm not living in a 3rd world country, and struggling to survive or provide for my children etc., I mean it's just hard to know if we are doing the right thing. On a daily basis I wonder if I've made the right parenting choice, discipline, preschool, food choices etc.
But on a grander scale, I am struggling with really wanting to move back to California for many reasons, the main one being with family and close friends - just having the available support and comfort of close friends. This feeling comes up about this time every year - Winter in Portland, sick kids, stuck in the house, cranky husband, work being busy - I just want to escape to an easier life. A life where I can call my Mom to come watch the kids so that we can escape for a date or for the weekend or just to spend time with the grandkids that are always asking "Where's Nana...Where's Papa, when are they coming back...why don't we live in California?" So, I am always convincing the kids and myself of all the reasons we live in Portland: the trees, the activities, the kid friendly environment, hiking, awesome summers, the coast, the mountainm the lower cost of living - although it doesn't seem that much lower - daycare being the same price, housing is quickly catching CA's lowering prices) etc. I explain constantly to Jakob that Portland is better but it doesn't always seem convincing to him nor to me. I know that Mark would love to be in California, for surfing, but his biggest concern is job security, understandable. But, I am fighting for quality of life, granted I would have to work full time, every day, but we would have family and close friends, that we've known most of our adult lives, that would just be so comforting. We moved here for some reason, either to be hear and raise our kids here or to learn from it, become stronger as parents, as a couple, who knows. I do believe things happen for a reason, I'm just not sure what the reason is right now!
So there it is out in the open for my kids to read somehow later in their lives, the never ending saga of "Did we make the right choice, are we raising our kids in the right place etc etc etc!!" I can't wait until they feel this same pain - hahahahaha!!
1 comment:
We struggle with this all the time. At least we are within driving distance, which I think is a good compromise - is that an option for you guys? Being within driving distance and having job security? I hear ya sister!
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