Sad

One of my students has Neuroblastoma, a type of cancer, she is in her 4th relapse with it (she's in 3rd grade, was adopted by a great family at age 3 from Guatamala and is a fighter) anyhow, on her Caring Bridge page, her Mom had shared the story of Noah, who was also dying of Neuroblastoma and his family was giving him Christmas early (basically b/c he wanted to "hang on" until Christmas but the family knew he wouldn't). So, Noah's Mom had asked for Christmas cards to be sent to him, well the news got out and he ended up receiving truck loads of cards. A few weeks ago, Jakob made him a card, drew what he thought Noah would like - Noah is also 5 years old - so Jakob drew Santa, presents, reindeer, stars and Noah's name. Jakob told me what he wanted to write in the card, I wrote it on another piece of paper and he wrote it inside the card "I'm sorry you are sick, I hope you get better, Love Jakob". I told Jakob that Noah probably wouldn't get better and would go to heaven, Jakob started to get teary eyed, and asked why he wouldn't get better, I explained not everything can be fixed by doctors, and sometimes God wants you in heaven sooner than later. We talked a lot about why kids might go to heaven (because Jakob thinks only old people go there), I told him I think it's because God needs more angels to look out for us, he thought that was pretty cool. He liked the idea that kids could grow wings and fly and take care of people. He was concerned about taking toys to heaven, because he knows that the body stays in the "ground" but didn't know how the toys would get there. Of course, I told him that there would be toys waiting for him in heaven, he was pleased with that. We said a little prayer for Noah and Roxy and GG Dode, all the people/dogs that we knew were in heaven, and then he realized that Roxy could play with Noah and liked that too! We sent the card off the next morning.

Today Noah passed away at 8 am, at home with his family. I didn't have the heart to tell Jakob, instead I told him what his parents said, they received over 1 million cards! Jakob's reaction - huge smile - "Wow, he must have been so happy." I hope so!
I had some nice snuggle time with my little angel tonight. He is the best, he even rubbed my back and my head, and made sure I felt good too! I'm not sure what I would do without my best boy.
My heart goes out to all the families battling illness in their children.

You can read more about Noah here:

www.carepages.com/carepages/NoahScottBiorkman

You can read more about my student here:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/leslyfoster

Sarah funnies

Walking out from daycare at 5pm, Sarah says "Night"

Me: "Yes it's dark out, it's night. Where did the sun go?"

Sarah: "In bed"

Sarah has started to tell her baby dolls, "Don't cry baby, hush". So cute!!

But, most of the time we hear "Baby pooped, change". She is obsessed with this!

Today we went to the swimming pool and Sarah was so excited, she loves swimming, even thought she doesn't know how, but she just loves being in the water and splashing around. She was yelling "Wimmy Poo, Wimmy Poo" (swimming pool) and "Kini on, Kini on" (bikini on). When she was in the water she fell under a couple times, (she doesn't want to be held, she walks around in the shallow end with the fountains and other kids and will walk into the deeper part and will stumble over), so when she comes up from underneath the water, she announces "Unner" (Under) with a smile, if you tell her how brave she was!

"Jump on Bed"

This is what I heard Sarah say to Jakob, before I found them doing this!!
Mind you this ended badly - you know the song about the monkeys jumping and bonking their heads - yeah a certain little girl fell off and bonked hers, left a nice mark - the night before our pictures!!


Sarah sound asleep with her baby after "jumping on bed".

Why do I bother....

So, I have been planning on taking family pictures for 3 weeks now, fretting over outfits, hair, the best time for the kids to take the picture and for what? So that we could have 30 minutes full of stress and let downs! Seriously is it that hard to get everyone to look at the camera or the big fuzzy tickler that the annoying lady is waving in your face? Apparently when you are almost 2 years old and 5 years old, it is.

It's even harder to not put on a fake smile when someone is trying to get your kids to look and smile at the camera!

Mark hates taking posed photos, but I really wanted a family picture to give our family at Xmas, we don't have one, now I know why! I feel like I set myself up for failure, the more I fretted over outfits for the kids the more I was to fail! I finally found an outfit for Sarah that was plain, no design on it, I really wanted a blue outfit for her, but do you think they make anything in blue for girls, that is plain not all bedazzled - NO! So, I went with an off white top and a denim skirt w/off white socks (ruffled) and super cute mary janes - well none of that cuteness is in the picture that turned out! Just her plain, off white top. I also wore off white, hoping that she would sit with Mark and Jakob with me (in blue/plaid), Mark in blue, OH NO she wanted nothing to do with Daddy! She didn't want to stand still so that we could actually see her outfit, she needed to sit on my lap, so she blends right into me! AAAHHHH!!!

Long story short, between Jakob's worried/anxious smile (because he was worried about his smile, as we were bribing him with a toy if he would smile appropriately) and Sarah not looking at the camera, my hair dropping into my face, and Mark closing his eyes - I was let down - honestly why did I do this to myself! I have learned now, not to take photos until Sarah is at least 3 years now. Jakob was so easy when he was 2, he took the cutest photos, posed and modeled basically - no not Sarah, she was not going to do it!

I just wanted something to look at years from now and think, weren't we so cute and happy, now I have something that will make me think about how cute but, how crazy our kids were!! Guess that's reality!

Baby Crazy

How is it possible that at 22 months old a child can be so baby crazy! Sarah is obsessed with babies, in books, on TV, in real life (you have to pick her up around babies as she will go over and touch the baby, all the while saying "BEEEBEEE, OHHHH, BEEEBEE"). If she hears a baby crying she has to announce that the baby is "Cawhying!" We were in a children's resale shop yesterday and she literally carried and pulled 3 baby dolls behind her thru the store - we weren't going to buy them so I had to tell her that the "Babies had to take a nap," so she put them back, patted their backs and we left.
She of course feeds, baths, rocks and even takes her babies potty and encourages her babies when they do go potty "Yay poop!" This is all consuming for Sarah, well besides watching "The Wiggles", carrying her "nuggie" (soft snuggy blanket) around everywhere she goes, and her all day focus on pooping in the potty!! She is one amazing and silly, little lady!


Here she is doing a careful balancing maneuver to keep the baby on her lap!

So, if ever anyone is in doubt of what to ever get this child, say for Christmas, Birthday or just something to obsess over, please remember what we hear all day, "BEEBEES PEEEASE"

Halloween 09

Our little Bumble Bee and Han Solo (Jakob was insistent on being Han this year, not a Jedi, not Vader - Han - thanks to Grandma Kathy for the awesome costume - he LOVES it and has asked to sleep in it!) Sarah loves her little bee costume, I brought it home from the store and she said "Peeeetttyyyyy Beeeeeeee BZZZZZ"

We painted our pumpkins this year for the first time, it was super fun and a lot less messy - except for Sarah!
Oh, Jakob lost his 2nd bottom tooth on t0/30/09 - very exciting!!


We went down to our little downtown in our neighborhood - called Multnomah village (shops, restaurants etc) - where they blocked the streets for kids to trick or treat in the shops, it was quite busy and Jakob had a hard time waiting in line while looking at his candy!

Sarah, sugar high. Jakob, sugar low!
Mommy and Sarah taking a rest!
The village full of families out trick or treating!

We drove a few blocks over to visit our friends Amber and Josh, and went trick or treating on their street. This was one of the spooky houses on the block, too spooky for Sarah (music and all), but Jakob or should I say "Han" was quite brave!

Here we are at the first spooky house, right next door to Amber's house. Sarah is on the porch a bit freaked by a skeleton that you can't see - she was just standing there pointing at it - no words coming out. It was really funny!

Sarah, enjoying her "Wolleeeeeee POP"

Mouth full of candy, working on his next choice!!

If you want a good cry read these lyrics from Zach Gill...

Mark is finally able to sit down to work on our dvd's of our kids, the last one was, I believe done just after Sarah was born - so almost 2 years ago. He found this song "Watch Them Grow" by Zach Gill, he emailed me at work today and said I would cry like a baby when I heard the song and that he could barely watch the videos of Sarah and listen to the song at the same time.
So, I watched the video, already teary eyed over the fact that I couldn't even remember when Sarah was 5 months old and making super cute noises, rolling over, had no hair, just that little hair chunk in the front with those huge cheeks - then about 5 minutes into the movie this song starts, I didn't know when it would start but as soon as I heard the first words "She's close to God," I started balling, I knew it was the song, maybe because I hadn't heard that lyric before, but as it went on "You see, for her, he'd do anything" I knew it was THE song! He paired the song with me and Sarah in swimming lessons, nothing that special, but she is so darn cute! Anyhow, Mark always knows how to get to the core of my soul - damn him! :)
The rest of the video is priceless, it follows the kids everyday activities and big accomplishments, like Sarah crawling, Jakob playing sports, turning 4 and Sarah walking! I think I cried harder at the fact that I didn't remember some of these things, I remember Sarah walked early but don't really remember her first steps, thank goodness for video! I remember Jakob's first steps, I feel a tinge of guilt but then when I have a reality check, I remember that I wasn't working while taking care of him, and didn't have another kid to take care of. Plus Sarah was everywhere and I do remember her always trying to take a step and then falling down, not like Jakob who would take a step and basically ran right away - nuts! Even seeing little things like how we had all our toy boxes around our TV to prevent Sarah from touching any buttons, or how big Sarah got so fast- she didn't fit in her little tub at 5 months, how she LOVED Roxy and would say "da" for dog before "Mama", or Jakob's sweet little voice and how he used to say "world' in a sweet little way when he sang "Twinkle Twinkle" or how he used to have a "mean face".
Anyhow, I guess I'm trying to say, I wish I could remember all their sweet noises, movements just like the first time they happen. Watching the movie made me realize that life moves sooooooo fast, I knew that before, but this really hit home. I think about how stressed we've been as a family with work, money, moving, etc. and I think, "Look at this movie it shows how precious our life really is, who cares where we live (rain or sun),or what we are wearing or driving, look at our gorgeous kids and all the amazing things they are doing, because of us - how great is that!"
What a great feeling, to be able to realize the enjoyment of watching our kids grow.

"Watch Them Grow" by Zach Gill

She's close to God, I'm sure of that
She sits him down, and they have a chat
She asks for sunshine, and he agrees
You see, for her, He'd do anything
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
She is a monkey, and I'm her tree
And now she's climbing all over me
Swinging on my vines dancing on my limbs
Her monkey sounds sound like angel's hymns
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
She is an angel, she is an imp
She's got my big toe, and her mother's lips
She gives fishy kisses, and great big bear hugs
42 pounds of pure love
Then one day she'll be 17, feelin' too big for her home
Seems she was just only 3, oh how our children they grow
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
Then one day she'll be 33, maybe with a child of her own
Seems she was just 17, oh how our children they grow
He'll ask for sunshine, and she'll agree
You see for him, she'd do anything
He is her child, the center of her world
She is his mother... my little girl
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go
You watch them grow, then you let 'em go