I really am just looking for some sympathy or empathy here. Just before we got pregnant with Sarah we were enjoying nights of about 8 hours of sleep, it was wonderful and we really started to take it for granted. Then, toward the end of my pregnancy with Sarah I started to lose some sleep due to being uncomfortable, anxious etc. After Sarah was born, of course we weren't sleeping with a newborn, but then you add a 3 year old who is having nightmares, it just got worse. Then, I went back to work in a total haze of being a new Mom again and complete sleep deprivation. I've been on summer break and Sarah has started to sleep from 8:30pm- about 5am - wonderful - but we are still tired, but I can now almost carry on a conversation without blanking out or falling asleep. Then there will be one of those nights where she sleeps until 7 am, but this doesn't happen on a regular night, it has to be the night that we go out or stay up late - until midnight or so, so we aren't getting to really benefit from her long sleep. Then on one of the long sleep stretches by Sarah, it is inevitably interrupted again by Jakob. We can't catch a break!
It's like we take one step forward and 2 steps backwards. Then, you think you are in a sleep routine and your kid cuts a tooth - AAH! Sarah was up every hour last night, Jakob was in the bedroom 3 times (2 nightmares and then the potty accident). I seriously got no more than 2 hours of sleep in a row! Oh my God - how do people do it! I didn't get a nap today, because Sarah decided she wasn't going to nap in the afternoon! Awesome!
So, I think that I have decided that sleep isn't all it's cracked up to be, I have to believe this because I do not have a choice!
I will try to be one of those people who think that sleep is a waist of time - it really is, with all the effort I put into trying to get a good nights sleep - I should be putting that effort somewhere else! The only problem is that my brain doesn't work, it's mush without sleep so the effort of trying to sleep is much easier than doing anything else. I feel bad about how angry and cranky I am in the middle of the night, I wish I could just think to myself at 3 in the morning, "It's only sleep, your kids will only be kids for a short time...try to enjoy the cuddle time or time needed by you right now." But, I just can't!
Anyhow, it's 11:25pm, desperately need to get some sleep, but I can't pull myself away from the Olympics and blogging! Will sleep later - like when the kids are grown! I just hope my brain doesn't completely go to mush before then!!
2 comments:
I think your brain was already mush! =) He he... I am sending you much empathy here. I get cranky if I don't get to sleep before 10pm, and the only thing that wakes me is my bladder. So I can't believe you are able to construct sentences with such little sleep. Also remember you get to repay your children the sleep time when they become teenagers and want to sleep in late. Then it's your turn to wake them and make them cranky. They are not going to be feeling guilty for being cranky with you. We won't read a blog from Jakob saying "Gee I hate when I snap at my Mom for waking me to go to school..." I say don't beat yourself up! You're doing a wonderful job obviously!!! Love you and hope you sleep soon. =)
Oh Jess, not making me look forward to it. I have just gotten done thinking to myself how heavy my belly already is and how I can' wait for the next hour to pass for Adrian to get home and Gracie's "energy" to be transferred to him....adding a new born....the only thing that I can say is that on normal days, it seems so long ago that she was terrible - remember that? What a fun time, but it really does pass so quickly!
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