Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Back to Work

Well the dreaded day came, back to work today! I will be working 3 days a week until June, and then 4 days when I start back in August. Not too bad. Amber is taking care of Sarah for us - which is AWESOME - we couldn't ask for anything better! We will need to find a place for Sarah in August, as Amber will need a real job and will hopefully be back in school!
This morning actually went smooth, Sarah was up at 3 am to nurse then back up at 6am - nursed her then hopped in the shower. Mark got Jakob and Sarah ready and Amber came over just after I left! I shed some tears, just thinking about the fact that I even have to leave her makes me sad - even though I know she is in great hands - it hurts my heart to think I have to leave her at such a young age. I was so lucky to be able to stay home with Jakob. Anyhow, I walked outside and it was sunny, turned the car on and Jack Johnson was on the radio and on the way to work there wasn't any traffic - I took that all as a sign that everything was OK!
I arrived at work at 7:40 am, and my co-workers - who always get there before me - were waiting for me in my cubicle, they put up a sign that says "Welcome Back Jess" - so nice! My mom left me a message on my work voice mail at 6:50 am, wishing me a great day - even better! So, going back to work wasn't too bad! I was able to pump at work pretty easily - I brought a curtain rod and a sarong to hang up to use as a privacy screen - which worked out just fine - plus, I work with almost all women next to me who all have had to pump at work - so I was pretty comfortable. Sarah did well with Amber, drank her Mommy's milk bottles just fine and gave lots of smiles.
Now, we just have to get into the busy routine of coming home from work, making dinner, getting the pump supplies ready/bottles ready for the next day, washing dishes, nursing Sarah 3-4 times, getting Jakob ready for bed (sans bathing usually - just a wipe down), reading stories to Jakob, getting clothes ready for myself for the next day, making lunches, do a load of laundry (newborns require a lot of laundry- you know!) and then maybe a few minutes of rest on the computer or in front of the TV!! GEEZ, I'm tired just typing that! Anyhow, if we didn't have to pay bills and didn't require health benefits - I don't think I would work - but with kids who require MD visits, student loans, rent, and the need to feed a family we both need to work! So, off to work we go with our best foot forward, a few tears shed - all while knowing that we are doing the best for our family right now and in the back of our minds wondering why we weren't born into a family with a trust fund!!

3 comments:

Wendy said...

Oh Jess. My heart hurts for you. I'm glad things went as smooth as they could today. So amazing that you have Amber, that she is with someone that loves her so much. I remember going back at 10 wks with Abs and thinking what the hell am i leaving my kid for to help take care of other peoples kids, seemed insane but it got easier. Sending you lots of hugs and love.

Mark, Jessica, Jakob, Sarah, Lily and Kona said...

Thanks Wen!!We had a rough night last night - got about 4 hours of sleep - today at work went ok, was in a bit of a fog, but this evening we were all very cranky and tired - it sucks! Can only hope that the future will hold more sleep for us!!

Carla said...

I am so sorry! I hate that you have to leave her but totally understand the big picture junk! Just a few months and you'll have a long stint at home with her again! I'm thinking of you all!